I was out the back of nowhere when i got this almighty pain
so i pulled off to a bush track it was just after some rain.

Well i looked around for somewhere and thought i'd better hurry
as the pain was gettin worse it was me dear old mums hot curry.

I made a mighty dash and i knew it wouldn't be just a stroll
and as i was sitting there in great relief i thought oh no i forgot the bluddy roll.

Well i checked the local area and thought gee's i am in strife
and reached into my jeans and pulled out my little knife.

Then i had a bright idea just like Davey Crocket
and grabbed my brand new Wrangler Jeans and cut out the back pocket.

Well after all the job was done i headed home to greet the wife
and could not believe the ruckass oh boy was i in strife.

Now i tell you friends as i have learn't if your goin for a stroll
make sure you take with you at least half a dunny roll.

Cheers

KW

Great stuff Willy and I look forward to more of this
Keepem Comming
Cheers Furphy

---

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Goodonya Kingwilly.  

In the back of my car I have a waterproof toiletry bag with a dunny roll, antiseptic soap and disinfectant.  Always be prepared.

After I leave a toilet along the road its cleaner than it's ever been.  ::) ::) ::) ::)


Derek

Then there is the one as was told as being absolutely true.

A chap was out on the road for work.   Somewhere, he got that pain and headed for the mens.  When he was finished with all, he discovered there was no roll in the holder.  So, he reached in his pocket for a piece of paper.

Later that day he had to report his pay cheque as missing.  He was asked if he didn't want to wait to see if  maybe one of the people at his various stops would return the pay cheque.  

To have to explain that   [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif]

Little_Kopit wrote on Nov 5^th, 2006 at 12:17pm:

Then there is the one as was told as being absolutely true. A chap was out on the road for work.   Somewhere, he got that pain and headed for the mens.  When he was finished with all, he discovered there was no roll in the holder.  So, he reached in his pocket for a piece of paper. Later that day he had to report his pay cheque as missing.  He was asked if he didn't want to wait to see if  maybe one of the people at his various stops would return the pay cheque.   To have to explain that   [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif] [smiley=embarassed.gif]

I would have used my underpants before the paycheque.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Just a little idea i had while in the back blocks


Cheers

KW

Then theres the one told by the older bushies about the rolly paper ie take the cigarette paper fold in 4 and then tear the resulting corner off unfold the paper put your finger through the hole and wipe then use the corner that you have torn off to clean under your finger nail. Not sure that i would have a go at that one though  :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

---

They musta been short of a quid in them day Furphy and from what LK had to say it musta been sh@#t money old mate got paid.


Cheers

KW

with you KW with you
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Furphy

Had a good laugh Furphyslinger, every thing has a funny side.
Out in the Great Victoria Desert the long drop toilets are often connected to the under ground caverns which honeycomb the Nullabor and you get a strong draught either up or down, quite an experience, toilet paper comes straight back out. The bloke who used his pay cheque could've waited and had it returned to him almost none the worse for wear. pd

Hi PD

Thats what i call recycling

Cheers

KW

hey willy you should have used a bit of bark or some grass  ;D ;D ;D ;D cheers cb

CB
Be a little careful using bark it may cause more problems than fix them

;) ;) ;) ;) ;)  Furphy

Yea, We was so poor we had to use the DOG'S BARK for dunny paper. Now that's RUFF.
I only tell lies when my lips are moving

Kev ;D

I'm not sure if I will use that one or not Sooty
Furphy

One reason why I love my RV

Well now here's the scenario:

I remember being out on a lake side with my dog Mutt. This dog was most uncouth, even moreso than the author of this text, he had absolutely no savoir vivre whatsoever. We had set up, me 'n Mutt and were relishing the last rays of the day alongside the fire and we each had a beer and were splitting a bowl of nachos between us and I told him that if we were to get up at 5:00 to fish that we'd better start thinking of banking the fire.

Mutt was a neat dog usually and fun to take fishing as even tho he never baited up, nor dug worms he could be counted on to listen while I rambled on about the mysteries of why I did so poorly that day and never contradict me.

Now Nature is neat with men and as we age a bit, Nature will wake us up at 3:00 AM as she knows that we will have slept now for five hours and a wake-up would give us a chance to fall asleep again for another three hours. This one night Mutt 'n I were sleeping in the tent and come 3:00 AM I woke up....and heard the dreadful sound of many raindrops on the tent. I tried to sleep hoping that it would go away. I tried crossing my legs, then turning over and crossing them in another manner, but none of this worked. Hearing the rain also dashed my hope for an early departure in the canoe, and it also intensified the reason why Nature woke me up. Finally having no choice I got out of my warm and dry sleeping bag and unzipped the tent and some water gushed onto my head. I could have just put some body parts outside and the job would have been done and over but I am too dignified to do this now in this stage of life although I have experimented this technique some years ago with less than satisfactory results.  So, out I went......and back I came. Finally after 20 minutes of re-warming the sleeping bag and getting reasonably comfortable to continue my three-hour stint before dawn...and just as I was in my best dozing mode...................
.............................................................Mutt farted

Glad to see you back CJV, for awhile there I thought we'd lost your true life yarns. I always say never let the truth get in the way of a good story.  pd

Well, as my podnah said, I as stirring other pots.

We have a season here called autumn which is exciting as I get out to gather wood for next year's revenge by Eolius, the Grecian God who somehow made it to the North Pole and lays it on us for a few months. They say that good wood heats four times, when you cut it, split it, stack it and burn it and already I've experienced all four of them, with much pleasure I can assure you. Then there is the usual pre-winter work and lastly but certainly not the least....honey-do's. The latter are the worst as in my mind they do not really have to be done and I can easily forget them faster than she can give them to me. I figure that a warm house is much more important than her  flower beds and window washing. Besides when I cut wood, I buy me a box of longnecks, but if I do honey-do's all I get is a reminder to leave my boots outside. Woe is me.

It is also a great season for chili and my cousin makes some adobo sauce that'll blow your sinus' out your ears. My daughter brought me a batch of haberneros and jalopenos too. all I need is a piece of roadkill.

So now that all is ready for The Big White, I can practice making my fibrications sound like truths. This brings to mind my ex-dog, Mutt..........j

So, CJV, you've upped me status, have ye, me son?

Re. chili, does ye use dried chilis?  I must make some chili, a nice large batch with dried chilis, bottle etc. & let it sit a month or so.  Great cold cure  that one.  Take a jar of that out to the sugar shack and eat sans chaud!!!!  Warmth without heat,  IMO.

Would ye be happy in BC. today, on the lower mainland, where the white gods have stopped the world?

Imagine Brisbane with 8"/20 cm of the stuff and many power outages!

8-)

I must say here that you people are on a roll!  :D  ::) ::) (Just couldn't pass this one up, sorry).

A Day in the Life of Josh
It came like the roll of thunder, the rolling and tumbling that you hear although you do not actually see the forthcoming storm.

I was in the car returning home from an errand when I felt this sensation deep in my stomach, and I knew it was to be a two-flush No.2. This could be the one of the decade, the one that of the ones which make crapdom annals     ( No pun intended).

The car whipped around the corner, figuring that we had just enough time to make it home. The word “we” is used as the car would suffer as much as the driver if we do not make it to homeplate in the allotted amount of time. Not to be forgotten that even Napoléon could not conquer the smallest urge brought on by the Mother of Nature, much less one of this intensity which was quickly coming over the horizon. As the car whipped itself wildly around this corner, it became the immediate follower of a school bus. This bus stopped at the first stop and gave birth to seven students, slowly descending, unaware of this tempest raging in my intestines. The next stop two more got off, but one forgot his school bag and had to return. By now I am looking in the mirror to see just how brown my eyes getting. (This is my personal crap-index/indicator). The bus drives slowly away, and I am driving with one cheek raised, and two kids are giving me the finger through the rear window. Two more blocks left and I am seeing huge rolls of  toilet paper, my own bathroom and my belly seems to be as bloated as that of a pregnant cow. The bus goes by one corner…….whoopee, one for Josh. The next and last corner, he lets another school bus go across the intersection, and I have tears running down my face, and he turns left fully knowing that I was flashing to turn also.. four houses, three, two, one…….and I am home. I dart out, not shutting off the motor, sprint towards the door, my hand very unmajestically holding my pants up against my butt, stop for a second as my time has run out, regain my stride with a deep breath, and make it into the house, kicking off my shoes and undoing my pants en route. Turning the corner, I lunge forward……and BANG, hit my head on t he door. The door flies open and there is Huguette sitting there with a cup of tea and this week’s copy of the Soaps……………..

Hey podnah, my chiles are fresh. I will not sell my soul to the Devil by using dried or frozen ingredients.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D



Quote:

Hey podnah, my chiles are fresh. I will not sell my soul to the Devil by using dried or frozen ingredients.

But when suitably aged, does your chili get warmer?

:o ;)