The Blue

Well I never got to tell ya bout a blue the other night
When me mates big noting missus tried ta get me mate in strife
She had as it often happens stuck her bib into his cooking
And had told him without humour what she thought he should be doing

She was standing there with mitts full of the latest Womens Weekly
And was reading from the pages, bloody woman she was raving
Ya gotta do it this way you cant use your stupid oven
Well me mate reared up in anger and he really started spitting

Keep ya stupid bloody mouth shut, Womans Weekly stupid thing
I dont want ya cooking lesson I am cooking like me mum did
And I'm here to bloody tell ya if it was good enough for her
You'll be eating like the old days, then he gave his stew a stir

Well I knew he'd started something when she stiffened like a post
You can shove ya bloody stew mate I would rather eat a roast
And ya rotten bloody damper you can shove that one as well
Dont you talk to me today mate as she started out to yell

Bout his family and his best friends and his dog and cat "oh hell"
She then turned and spotted me mate. and the things she had to tell
It was such a bloody drubbing that the woman handed ouit
That I stood in awe and listened to that angry woman shout

And me mate I've gotta tell ya I now treat him with respect
Every time I think of camping and the camp that woman wrecked
For I really have to tell ya he deserves a medal to
Just for starting then surviving that almighty bloody blue

Furphy