I DIDN’T GO
By Don Lloyd from his book No Dogs Aloud

A friend of mine rang me up,
He said, “I thought you’d like to know,
There’s a talent quest on here tonight,
So, I told them you’d like to go.
I told them you’d written some poems,
Some people thought they weren’t bad.
They said they were short of performers,
And if you’d come, they’d be glad.

The only thing they have a dress code,
Track pants are simply not worn.
You might get in with joggers and socks,
But thongs are looked on with scorn.
As for tee shirts, there’s no more to be said
For they will turn you back at the door,
And if you argue and go calling them names,
You’ll never get in there no more.

Your shirt must have a collar attached,
And we hope you’ll be wearing a tie.
Please remember you’ll be on a stage
Right in front of everyone’s eyes.
Now as to your hair, please get it shorn,
It’s way past the back of your neck.
I mean, for a man way past fifty,
You do seem to lack some respect.

Some of your poems are quite crude,
They leave much to be desired, that’s a fact.
We think you should take out the bad words
And generally clean up your act.
I said, “Is it about talent or fashions,
You really got me in the dark,
If getting in is going to be such a problem,
Why don’t they hold the damn thing in a park?

Remember, you are the ones who asked me to come
And help to make up a show,
But, it seems you don’t want me or my rhymes
So I’ll stay home and simply not go.”