CD's amazing talking dog!!..............


A guy is driving around the back woods of Edmonton and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Lab sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told ASIO. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the Cairns Airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'


The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.


'Ten dollars,' the guy says.


'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'


'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that ####.


Grrr!!!

The Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes
G-Rated

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled
over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
''What does it look like?'' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, ''It's square, and it has your picture on it.''

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed
it to the policewoman. ''Here it is,'' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

--

Another idiot

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer..
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe
him.. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk..
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
she put the Scotch in the bag... The robber then ran from the store with
his loot..
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two
hours later..

Aart

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,   

'What a Great chest you have!'                

                    
        


He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'       

              

He takes off his pants and the blonde says,'What massive calves you have!'                  

              
 
              


The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'    

   
 

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.   



The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.  He catches up to her and asks why she ran  out of the apartment like that.                

           

     


                     


The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!'

TBF wrote on Sep 16^th, 2009 at 10:16am:


There I was thinking they were all up here