Australia’s Very Own Camp Oven And Outdoor Cooking And Camping Forum - Joke Of The Day

Reply #1440 - Mar 12^th, 2014 at 11:20am

Jerrysky Offline
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A Lesson in Government

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''
Grin

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Reply #1441 - Mar 19^th, 2014 at 11:00am

Stubby Offline
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Good advice from Grandma.
For better digestion, I drink beer,
In case of appetite loss, I drink white wine,
In case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine,
In case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
When I have a cold, I drink schnapps.
I asked, "when do drink water?"
She said, "I've never been that sick!"
Grin

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Reply #1442 - Mar 25^th, 2014 at 10:11pm

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Dr Dave was getting confused. He kept hearing voices in his head.
Voice 1 was saying, "It's OK Dave, lots of Drs have affairs with their patients."
Voice 2 was saying, "It's not good having an affair with your patients."
Voice 1 says, "Its OK Dave, lots of Drs have affairs with their patients."
Voice 2 says, "Dave, you are a VET!"
Grin

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Reply #1443 - Mar 28^th, 2014 at 7:44am

Derek Offline
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One day, while going to the shop, I passed by a retirement village.. On the front lawn were six old ladies, lying naked on the grass..
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way.
On my return trip, I passed the same retirement village with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.
This time my curiosity got the better of me and I went inside to talk to the retirement village Administrator, and asked her?
Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?
Yes,' she said, "aren't they darlings?
They're retired prostitutes - they're having a garage sale.

Retired
Camp Oven Cook

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Reply #1444 - Apr 3^rd, 2014 at 2:19pm

Stubby Offline
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Bad News About Grandpa.

An elderly man had a massive stroke and the family drove him to the emergency hospital.

After a while the ER doctor appeared wearing a long face.

"I'm afraid Grandpa is brain dead, but his heart is still beating.

"Oh Dear God," cried his wife, "We've never a Labor voter in the family before!"
Cry

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Reply #1445 - Apr 5^th, 2014 at 10:27am

Stubby Offline
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You have to spare a thought for the fellow who told his wife he was flying on flight MH370 and is now not game to leave his girlfriend's flat!! Grin

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Reply #1446 - Apr 6^th, 2014 at 2:08pm

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In the USA, an inmate escaped from a mental institution. He raped two women in the local laundry and then ran away.
The Head Lines Read,

"NUT SCREWS WASHERS and BOLTS".

(I don't make them up, just share them.)

Stubby.

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Reply #1447 - Apr 14^th, 2014 at 4:51pm

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Missing Wife
Distraught husband filing a report on his missing wife:

Husband: I lost my wife (Misty), she went shopping & still has not reached home yet.
Inspector: What is her height?
Husband: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair ?
Husband: Changes according to the season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Husband: Pant suit or dress..... I don't remember exactly.
Inspector: Was she going in a car???
Husband: yes.
Inspector: tell me the number, name & color of the car ? . . . . . ..
Husband: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door. ….and then the husband started crying...
Inspector: Don't worry sir, we will find your car...
Grin

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Reply #1448 - Apr 21^st, 2014 at 7:38am

Rufzgutz Offline
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It's not funny.

Do not fart in your camp oven.

http://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/

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Reply #1449 - May 8^th, 2014 at 9:14am

Kelly Campbell Offline
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MOntelluna Drive North Venice, Florida, USA

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That’s a real funny story. You should save it for when you’re outdoors and telling stories by the camp fire.

Take only pictures, Leave only footprints

http://thecampingtrail.net

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