Good one stubby bit of light humour never hurt anyone 

Apparently this appeared in the Sydney morning herald, but don't quote me on that.

Age-old deficiency.
It's about time the authorities did something about the older drivers on our roads.
For far too long the older drivers have caused havoc as they hog the left lane, stick to the speed limits (even the road work limits) and stop at stop signs, causing great inconvenience and often preventing others from doing what they like.
Another major concern is that by avoiding fines and demerit points, they are not doing their bit for the revenue of our state, and are therefore placing a further burden on younger drivers.
Until older drivers can prove that they are proficient at weaving in and out of traffic, driving while texting, tailgating, using drugs or doing burnouts, they must be banned from holding a license.

Doug Money, Oak Park.

I saw a guy steal our gate the other day but I didn't say anything in case he took offense.

A couple of blokes were yarning over a beer and one says, "Did you know that lions have sex ten to fifteen times a day?"
His mate said, "Damn, and I've just joined Rotary!"