AUSTRALIA'S ORIGINAL AND BEST CAMP OVEN AND OUTDOOR COOKING AND CAMPING FORUM - Joke Of The Day

Reply #320 - Jul 8^th, 2008 at 1:03pm

TBF Offline
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That is gold Carolyn

That is one smart Doctor.

Aart

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Reply #321 - Jul 8^th, 2008 at 6:29pm

skiproosel Offline
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A Kiwi and a Aussie were sitting around talking one afternoon over a
cold beer.
After a while the Kiwi says to the Aussie "If I was to sneak over to your
house and shag your wife while you were off fishing, and she got
pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"
"The Aussie crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head,
and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about being related, but it would make us even." Smiley

All the best
Skip Smiley

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Reply #322 - Jul 9^th, 2008 at 10:01am

wazza5262 Offline
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I Love Camp Oven Cooking
and camping ,shooting
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Movie Theater Mayhem!

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.

"Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly.

"All right, buddy. What's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.

"The balcony." Cheesy

cheers wazza

cheers warren ... lives in Ipswich Queensland Australia.. Hi all o/s visters

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Reply #323 - Jul 9^th, 2008 at 3:04pm

Furphyslinger Offline
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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

If you don't know the bush then you have never lived life to the full

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Reply #324 - Jul 9^th, 2008 at 3:05pm

Furphyslinger Offline
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A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

If you don't know the bush then you have never lived life to the full

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Reply #325 - Jul 9^th, 2008 at 3:06pm

Furphyslinger Offline
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A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say

If you don't know the bush then you have never lived life to the full

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Reply #326 - Jul 9^th, 2008 at 3:06pm

Furphyslinger Offline
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An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

If you don't know the bush then you have never lived life to the full

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Reply #327 - Jul 9^th, 2008 at 3:07pm

Furphyslinger Offline
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A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull #### might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

If you don't know the bush then you have never lived life to the full

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Reply #328 - Jul 9^th, 2008 at 3:08pm

Furphyslinger Offline
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A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of #### is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep ####, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

If you don't know the bush then you have never lived life to the full

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Reply #329 - Jul 9^th, 2008 at 4:02pm

BillyBushCook Offline
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Furphyslinger wrote on Jul 9^th, 2008 at 3:04pm:

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Hey o'l boy I posted that one on page 3! Cry

Live while your'e alive, you can sleep when your'e dead.

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