Frodocam

Watching the Frodocam reminds me of the two eagles soaring high up near heaven
They fly past two souls drifting about,
The two souls remarked "AAhhh Eagles"
But the two eagles were too polite to answer!!!!

have a nice day
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Think before you speak

       Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

       1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
       2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
       3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
       4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
       5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think
       we can expect the same thing again.'
       6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition
       doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
       7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife
      of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
       8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like
       they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
       9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so      well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'

On his way home a father suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?
We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It 's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and one of Ken's Friends. 

Aart

A man enters a bar and orders a drink.

The bar has a robot barman.

The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him,
“What’s your IQ?”

The man replies “150” and the robot proceeds to make conversation about
global warming factors, Quantum physics and spirituality, bio-mimicry,
environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, and
sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, “This is really cool.”

He decides to test the robot.

He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink.

Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him,
“What’s your IQ?” The man responds, “About 100.”

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about league,
Holdens, racing, the new BIG Mac, tattoos, Nicky Watson and women in
general.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot
one more test.

He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, “What’s your IQ?”

The man replies, “Err, 50, I think.”

And the robot says...real slowly…

“So...............ya gonna vote for Kevin 07 again?”


Aart

. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and            leave me alone.

       2. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't gettin any.

       3. No one is listening until you fart.

       4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

       5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

       6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try  missing a couple of mortgage payments.

       7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

       8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

       9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

       10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

       11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

       12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen.

       13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

       14. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.

       15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

       16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

       17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

       18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

       19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things just get worse.

       20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 

wazza