Australia’s Very Own Camp Oven And Outdoor Cooking And Camping Forum - Joke Of The Day

Reply #80 - Apr 12^th, 2008 at 8:57pm

skiproosel Offline
COCIA Diamond Member
Box Monster
Joined: Jan 5^th, 2008 at 6:06am
Last online: Sep 16^th, 2012 at 5:35pm

Gender:
Zodiac sign:
Posts: 2510

The Nun in Hooters

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. !
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.
'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?'

All the best
Skip

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #81 - Apr 13^th, 2008 at 7:34pm

skiproosel Offline
COCIA Diamond Member
Box Monster
Joined: Jan 5^th, 2008 at 6:06am
Last online: Sep 16^th, 2012 at 5:35pm

Gender:
Zodiac sign:
Posts: 2510

Box Donation

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his
priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed    together,but then stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it    in.You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw
that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'
The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and
according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Have a nice day
Skip

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #82 - Apr 14^th, 2008 at 7:47am

poddy dodger Offline
COCIA Diamond Member
Joined: Jun 3^rd, 2006 at 8:03am
Last online: Sep 10^th, 2025 at 9:28pm

Gender:
Zodiac sign:
Posts: 2924

Reminds me of the country song ,
"How can I kiss the lips at night that chew my arse out all day long ?"

True.
pd

When I die I hope my missus doesn't sell my camp ovens for what I told her I paid for them. pd

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #83 - Apr 14^th, 2008 at 5:45pm

skiproosel Offline
COCIA Diamond Member
Box Monster
Joined: Jan 5^th, 2008 at 6:06am
Last online: Sep 16^th, 2012 at 5:35pm

Gender:
Zodiac sign:
Posts: 2510

Lemon Squeeze

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.
Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for
I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad,
passionate love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven
lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'

Have a nice day
Skip

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #84 - Apr 14^th, 2008 at 5:50pm

skiproosel Offline
COCIA Diamond Member
Box Monster
Joined: Jan 5^th, 2008 at 6:06am
Last online: Sep 16^th, 2012 at 5:35pm

Gender:
Zodiac sign:
Posts: 2510

Catholic Dog:

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog
for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the
parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be
saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services
   for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down
the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do
something for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is
enough to donate to them for the service?'
   Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why
didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

Have a nice day
Skip

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #85 - Apr 14^th, 2008 at 8:54pm

Robbo Offline
COCIA Diamond Member
COCIA....its a sickness
Joined: Mar 27^th, 2008 at 2:20am
Last online: Jan 21^st, 2013 at 12:36pm

Gender:
Posts: 1118

Now this is cheeky!!!

Happiness.JPG (66 KB | )

May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven
half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #86 - Apr 14^th, 2008 at 8:57pm

Robbo Offline
COCIA Diamond Member
COCIA....its a sickness
Joined: Mar 27^th, 2008 at 2:20am
Last online: Jan 21^st, 2013 at 12:36pm

Gender:
Posts: 1118

Another one for the lawyers.

Ask_Grandma_Medium.gif (81 KB | )

May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven
half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #87 - Apr 15^th, 2008 at 7:25am

skiproosel Offline
COCIA Diamond Member
Box Monster
Joined: Jan 5^th, 2008 at 6:06am
Last online: Sep 16^th, 2012 at 5:35pm

Gender:
Zodiac sign:
Posts: 2510

This was developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 50 years of age can't do it!
1. This is this cat
2. This is is cat
3. This is how cat
4. This is to cat
5. This is keep cat
6. This is an cat
7. This is old cat
8. This is fart cat
9. This is busy cat
10. This is for cat
11. This is forty cat
12. This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.

Have a nice Day
Skip

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #88 - Apr 15^th, 2008 at 11:44am

Little_Kopit Offline
COCIA Hall Of Fame
& I, I took the road less
traveled by.
Joined: Dec 19^th, 2005 at 2:05pm
Last online: Apr 13^th, 2020 at 2:27am

Zodiac sign:
Posts: 2254

Robin Hood likes that one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tongue

My Photo Album, featuring Labrador 2006

Back to top

IP Logged

Reply #89 - Apr 15^th, 2008 at 4:24pm

Furphyslinger Offline
COCIA Hall Of Fame
Camp Oven Cooking is Real
Cooking
Joined: Jul 14^th, 2006 at 7:14pm
Last online: Jul 15^th, 2008 at 2:33pm

Gender:
Zodiac sign:
Posts: 806

read the third word in each line
s
"SIGH" i'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE

If you don't know the bush then you have never lived life to the full

Back to top

IP Logged

	am pm	Welcome, Guest. If this is your first visit to COCIA, be sure to check out the many references on the Help Board. You will have to Login or Register, before you can post. Click the register TAB below to proceed or to start viewing messages, simply select the Board that you want to visit.