Dampers by Keith Garvey

Knew a bloke once called Damper Dan
Remember the bludger well I can
And his dampers
Bottomless moleskins hangin' slack
Tin of treacle, sticky and black,
Heap of flour in a dirty sack
For dampers

Always camped by a bore-drains flow
Whiskery and greasy and foul and low
Eatin' dampers
Never would buy a loaf of bread
'Too bloody dear' he always said
Cooked every day like lumps of lead
Heavy dampers

Down he'd sit with a toothless grin
Mixin' the dough in a gallon tin
For dampers
Over his bulgin' bottom lip
Nicotine and slobber would slip
Run down his pipe and slowly drip
In the damper (to top)

Bore-drain water and weevily flour
Welded into a mixture sour
For damper
Stick to yer ribs and clog yer pipes
Give the goes as well as the gripes
And he'd say, 'She's a lovely feed, by cripes
Bonzer damper'

Beef or mutton he wouldn't touch
Brownie or cake he didn't like much
Only damper
'Nothin' he'd say, 'like good clean flour
Never gets stale or mouldy or sour
Nothin' gives yer muscular power
Like damper'

Follered his funeral without regret
Went where there's plenty of heat, I'll bet
For dampers
And it's safe to bet the devil could tell
How he sits all day by the hearth of hell
With his sack of flour and his evil smell
Cookin' dampers.....Soddy bloody dampers