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The Mushroom Dilemma (Read 4653 times)
Feb 6th, 2012 at 7:45pm

bush_poet   Offline
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The Storyteller
Joined: Sep 19th, 2007 at 9:56pm
Last online: Feb 6th, 2012 at 8:03pm

Gender: male
Zodiac sign: Scorpio
Posts: 35

     While touring western Queensland with our show 'Laughter And Tears From The Bush' in the year 2000, we spent much of the time performing evening shows at the Bailey Bar Caravan Park in Charleville.  My great-grandfather and grand-father lived and worked in the town, while my dear old dad, though born in Cunnamulla, spent his childhood years growing up in Charleville as well.  So there is a lot of our family's history tied up with the district and Chris and I made acquaintances with many folk.

     One couple, who we'd met at the annual camel races, lived on a property on the Cunnamulla side of Charleville.  They had invited us to join them for the day, with the option to stay on for dinner that evening, as they were having friends join them.  Apparently it was custom in the area for a family to host a dinner evening once a month and this month was their turn.  We arrived early in the morning to find the lady of the house out picking mushrooms as it had been a wet season and they were growing prolifically around the house yard.

     As we accompanied her inside the house, she commented that she wasn't really sure if they were in fact the right sought of mushrooms to eat and
after spending half an hour or more digesting information from a plant book, she was none the wiser.  Her next move was to rely on a lady, who was a shearer's cook, coming out from town to help with the meal preparations after lunch.

     The cook turned up in a beat-up old ute around one o'clock in the afternoon and when the question was put to her about the mushrooms, she just rubbed her chin and expressed it had her beat, but commented how out in the sheds if anything was a bit dicey she would always give the dogs a sample and if they were still kicking in an hour or so then it must be all right.

     Not totally convinced by her rule of thumb the lady of the house hesitated a while, but then opened the back door and whistled in the direction of the back yard.  Immediately a black and white border collie she called Spot was standing at the back door wagging his tail.  A small helping of the mushrooms were placed in a bowl and presented to the dog, which willingly devoured them.  We all watched with apprehension over the next hour or so waiting for a physical verdict to our quandary.  Spot showed no sign of throwing in the towel and continued harassing the hens scratching around the yard.  The evidence tended in favour of the mushrooms being ridgy didge and cook went about preparing the meal for the evening.

     We enjoyed a tour of the property throughout the afternoon and after cleaning up, prepared to join the guests now arriving for the evening.  The mushroom soup was a favourite with everyone and the main meat dish was smothered with a truly exquisite mushroom sauce.  Prior to the sweets being served there was a commotion in the kitchen and the cook came out looking quite distressed.  She walked immediately over to the lady of the house and began to whisper something in her ear, then retired to the kitchen.

     An obvious paleness overtook our hosts face as she sat motionless for a moment or two before finally rising from her chair.  She then went on to explain to her now attentive guests, how she had picked the mushrooms that morning, but being uncertain about them had relied on the cooks rule of thumb and fed them to the dog to test them out.  Furthermore, she expressed that up until now there had been nothing to suggest they were the wrong sort, but then explained that cook had just advised her that Spot was dead.

     The reaction of the guests was nothing less than pandemonium.  People departed in all directions.  Some were leaning over the railing of the front patio heaving up large portions of the evening’s meal while others showered the roses in the front garden.  One husband and wife team where swallowing handfuls of salt endeavouring to repel the offending mushrooms.  Before long folk were either climbing into their own cars heading for the local hospital or those too ill to move were being transported by the two ambulance cars which had arrived from town.

     Within an hour of the announcement the whole place had been cleared and both hosts were sitting at the dining room table in a state of shock, wondering if they had poisoned any of their guests and fearing they would have litigation coming out of their ears.  Never having been a lover of mushrooms and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, I had given my soup to Chris and scraped the sauce from off my meat.  Poor Chris, who had been one of the bodies hanging over the railings of the patio, was now resting in one of the bedrooms.

Suddenly the silence was broken as the cook, who had been working in the kitchen throughout the whole ordeal and rather oblivious to what had aspired, entered from the kitchen and in her casual way spoke to the lady of the house.
     "Well love, that's the kitchen all tidied up, so I'll bid you folk goodnight.  You know Missus, that was a real mongrel act, the 'Roo Shooter running over Spot like that and not stopping.  Catch you next week."
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Reply #1 - Jun 6th, 2012 at 7:28pm

rickymartin   Offline
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Joined: May 19th, 2012 at 7:11pm
Last online: Jun 12th, 2012 at 10:48pm

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It was nice to reading your blog. keep posting.
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Reply #2 - Jun 6th, 2012 at 8:34pm

LG   Offline
COCIA® Diamond Member
Joined: Sep 5th, 2011 at 10:29pm
Last online: Aug 1st, 2018 at 5:52pm

Bunbury, Western Australia, Western Australia, Australia

Gender: female
Zodiac sign: Aquarius
Posts: 1124
OMG That poor woman!  I would definetly have strung the cook up from the nearest tree  ROFLMAO!

The judge's decision is final... unless the 3rd umpire is called for... or a facebook campaign goes viral !!!

All comments are my personal opinion only and/or based on real life experiences.  No debate will be entered into.
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Reply #3 - Aug 28th, 2012 at 4:00pm

AdamB4   Offline
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Joined: Aug 21st, 2012 at 12:59pm
Last online: Nov 7th, 2012 at 5:51pm

Gender: male
Zodiac sign: Aquarius
Posts: 22
check the mushrooms well but what a fun read... enjoyed reading it  Smiley
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